


The Sun Is Always There

by dianna44



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Universe, Chapter 700 didn't happen, Fate & Destiny, Getting Together, Implied Guilt, Introspection, M/M, Post-War, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 14:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11292876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dianna44/pseuds/dianna44
Summary: Sasuke likes to plant flowers and Naruto is always on his mind.





	The Sun Is Always There

**Author's Note:**

> Can you BELIEVE that Naruto and Sasuke are my actual lifeblood, but it's taken me this long to write a fic for them? Anyway, I wrote this in about thirty minutes because I have a lot of feelings about the pair of them. Pain. It's pain and love mainly.  
> Anyway, hope you enjoy! :)

In the end, he thinks it was just the culmination of everything they’ve had building up. And that’s how any relationship goes. That’s how most all relationships either end or start, and Sasuke wasn’t stupid enough to think his was any different.

(But it was. It was different. It was different enough for the scratching want to _feel_ him, to _hold_ him, to wonder what he looked like when he first opened his eyes in the morning and what he looked like before falling asleep. It was _different._

They weren’t special, but they were different.)

And he wasn’t surprised when it happened. There was no room in him anymore to be surprised at the events he already suspected would happen.

When he was twelve years old, when he just twelve years old twelve years old twelve years old, he snuck a glance at Naruto practically drinking his ramen and thought he looked cute. It was a quick thought, a thought that he could pretend didn’t occur, but it did it did it did it _did_.

And Sasuke looked away, he had to look away, he couldn’t be caught looking at the idiot like that. Not like that. He was twelve. He had so much to do.

(He never truly considered a world where this wouldn’t happen in the end.)

When he was fourteen years old, he realized he missed Naruto like the moon missed the sun. He missed Naruto like the desert missed the water. He missed Naruto like the oceans missed the land. When he was fourteen years old and bettering himself for the better, or at least he thought so at the time, he missed Naruto Uzumaki.

(But by this point, he’d gotten better at ignoring it. He already knew it to be true. He already knew what he felt for the boy. He already knew it, he’s always known it, he was always going to know it.

Sometimes, he wished he didn’t. It’d be easier that way. And it’d be harder for others to manipulate him. Everything would just be so much fucking easier.)

When he was seventeen, the war was over and Sasuke realized he was in love with Naruto Uzumaki.

(He wasn’t shocked. It’s always been there.

But he didn’t know what to do about it, and that was somehow more terrifying than anything else.)

Naruto was so angry at him, punching him repeatedly punching him so hard he bled and bled and bled but it was never anything compared to what he’s been through, never anything compared to how much he bled for Naruto in the past, how much he still bleeds for him, oh fuck, his heart is _bleeding_.

(And he was in love with him. So fucking much did he love him. His heart yearned, and now that his part in the war was over, his part in destroying his brother the same way his brother destroyed his life, his part in destroying those who destroyed his brother, destroyed Naruto, his heart had nothing else to do but yearn and yearn and yearn.)

Naruto was so fucking bright. Blinding, even. And he still wanted to be friends with him. He never gave up on Sasuke. He never gave up on Sasuke even when Sasuke gave up on himself. He was always there, whether it was a sliver of a memory in the back of his explosive brain, or in front of him, punches flying and words screaming, or in his very _senses_.

Naruto was always always always there, and so far, he still has been. He still is. He’s still here, alive, breathing so fully.

Sometimes, Sasuke wonders what would have happened if he never left. He wonders what his relationship with Naruto, with everybody else, with himself, would be like. He wonders if he would have left anyway. If that part was always fate. He wonders and wonders and wonders until he wants the whole world to explode. Because he shouldn’t be wondering about things he can’t change. He shouldn’t be wondering about the past, and he shouldn’t even be wondering about the future.

(It’s so hard though. It’s hard to rein in those emotions. It’s so difficult. And frustrating. And tiring. Sasuke is _tired_.)

Sasuke only stays in his home to sleep. He was given a home after the war, and he knows he wouldn’t have a place to stay at all if Naruto didn’t vouch for him.

He goes out. He goes to the forest, he goes to the river, he completely immerses himself in the nature of the world because for far too long has he been destroying it. He’s destroyed people’s lives, people’s livelihoods, people’s purposes, and Sasuke knows that planting flowers by the side of a river won’t atone for any of that, but it makes him feel like he’s done some good in the world at least.

Naruto found him once. He was looking for him apparently, surprised that he wasn’t in his house since everybody thinks he stays in his house. They just don’t see him. That’s the only reason they think those things. Plus, they know in their mind that Sasuke probably deserves to be on house-arrest, to be cooped up in a place for so long that he starts to go even more insane.

But Naruto is there. He’s always there.

And the first day that he found him, he sent that giant, beautifully relieved smile his way and bounded over to him. Asked him what he was doing. And when Sasuke finally gave in and admitted it, Naruto didn’t even question him. Didn’t call him stupid. Didn’t say he should be somewhere else, anywhere but there. Didn’t even stop smiling.

He just bent down, picked up the seeds Sasuke had put aside, and started to plant flowers himself.

(He had to ask Sasuke for help basically every two minutes, but it was okay, this was okay, and Sasuke’s heart was soaring through the clouds above him. Naruto was so beautiful, the brightest star, the star in the center of his universe, and Sasuke was trapped in the gravitational pull. He couldn’t possibly leave. He didn’t know if he even wanted to.)

After that day, Naruto came around as often as he could, always greeting Sasuke with a bright smile, and always having that expression of relief flicker on his face for a brief second. Sasuke wanted to ask why he was so relieved to always see him. Wanted to ask why he mattered at all to Naruto.

Sasuke wanted to ask Naruto so much. He wanted to say so much. He wanted to do so much.

But he just continued to let Naruto go on and on about which flowers look pretty together, about the new jutsu he was working on, about that suspicious thing Kakashi told him.

And Sasuke let him. He liked listening to Naruto, adored it even. The best parts of his days were these moments, these loud but quiet moments between him and the boy he fell in love with it all those years ago.

A year passes, and Sasuke talks more and more and more. Flowers are booming all around the river. Naruto is always so pleased. He never asks him any questions either. Sasuke doesn’t know if he’s grateful or unhappy that he doesn’t.

They never talk about the war. Except for that one time that Naruto was telling him a story about Neji until he cut himself off, going so quiet, only the river’s gentle water could be heard. Sasuke didn’t know what to say either, and Naruto just quietly looked at the river for a few moments. The silence wasn’t unbearable, but Sasuke didn’t know if it was what was right.

And then Naruto had turned to him. His lips pursed together, his eyebrows tugging down in a frown, and Sasuke could see the open sadness in his face just as well as he could see the sadness in his own.

(That’s not to say that Naruto was always happy. He wasn’t. He never was. Some days, he’d come and Sasuke felt like he was always on the verge of screaming, of yelling and crying and kicking and screaming, and Sasuke always wondered how he would have reacted if Naruto actually let himself do it.

He never did though.

Always that bright bright smile so tinged with sadness that sometimes Sasuke had to look away to try and stop the panic rising in his chest.)

All Naruto had said after that moment of heartbreaking truth was, “I miss him. I miss _them_.”

(Sasuke knew that feeling so well.)

“I miss them too,” he said. Naruto’s gaze snapped to his face, and Sasuke held it. He couldn’t afford to look away. This was important. What they had and what they were doing was important.

They didn’t say anything else for the rest of that day, but it’s burned into Sasuke’s memory. Everything Naruto does is there, it’s always there, Naruto is always there.

Naruto doesn’t come as often anymore. He still comes. But as opposed to the months ago where he would come almost every day, he comes only two or three times a week.

( _That’s okay_ , Sasuke would have to say to himself. _Of course, it’s okay. Always okay. Naruto can do whatever he wants._ )

But _fuck_ , it still hurts.

Sasuke goes to the town more often now. He gets bored, and with his flowers blooming all over the place, he’s running out of space. He talks to Sakura more, but it’s never enough for her. She still wants more. She still wants more, and Sasuke just hopes so desperately that she won’t _always_ want more.

(Sasuke sometimes wishes he was in love with her. It’d be so much easier if he were. But he rejected her, and he rejects her, and as time passes, she asks less of him, and as time passes, they become friends over anything else.

She’s a good friend.

She really really is.)

Naruto isn’t dating anybody, but when Sasuke’s in town, he always hears the rumors. He always hears the speculations over who he’s dating, if he’s interested in anybody, if he’d be willing to date them or their daughters or their cousins.

Sasuke tries not to be annoyed by it all. The looks. The hateful words thrown at him. The rumors about the man he is in love with. He tries not to be annoyed, but eventually, he feels like he isn’t supposed to be there any longer so he just buys more flower seeds, takes more missions, and only comes home to sleep just like he’s always done.

Two years pass, and people start to marvel over the beautiful flowers that seem to be erupting all over the place.

(It’s annoying. But the deep, secret part of Sasuke is pleased. He’s so happy that he’s finally created something that people can be happy about. No more destruction. No more death. Just life life life life _life_.)

Naruto still comes around, and now that Sasuke’s taken up to finally _living_ in his house, he comes to his place more than he comes to visit Sasuke while he continues to plant his flowers and herbs and beautiful plants.

And Naruto is just as beautiful, just as darkly bright, and they _talk_ more.

One day, Naruto comes over and they argue over past arguments for hours and hours and hours, but with each argument they go over again, they laugh and laugh and laugh. They both know they were stupid. So so stupid.

Another day, Naruto comes over and doesn’t say anything. A Bad Day. And Sasuke just hates these bad days, loathes them, detests what they bring to both him and Naruto.

So, Sasuke talks. Naruto’s surprised, but he lets him. He lets him talk for what seems like hours about Itachi, about Orochimaru, about the people he dragged along with him and the people he left behind.

He thinks Naruto cries. He thinks maybe even he cried. He doesn’t know he doesn’t know he doesn’t know, but by the end of it all, Naruto has stood up and pulls him into a tight hug.

(It’s the first day that Sasuke wishes the world wouldn’t explode. Wouldn’t speed up. It’s the first time that Sasuke actually wishes for time to stop completely.)

After that, something changed. Something started happening that had always been there. The tiny flame had turned into a forest fire, and suddenly, Sasuke was going out more, suddenly Naruto was always _always_ there, but in person, his smile slowly turning into something more real, and Sasuke was following him.

(Everything else still seemed like a dream to Sasuke. He’d wake up, and he’d be unsure whether or not he was still living, whether or not it was all a dream, whether or not he’d wake up and still be six years old and go outside and see his family. He’d wake up, and wish he would stop existing, but with Naruto, he was _real_ again.

He was _real_.)

The first time they _really_ kissed was the same day Sasuke didn’t go and plant flowers for the first time. He wasn’t feeling well, something had been telling him to stay at home, and plus, he’s already planted so many flowers, so many things, and yet and yet and yet and yet it just seemed to not matter sometimes.

Hours after falling asleep, Naruto was knocking loudly on his door. It was a frantic knocking, a desperate knocking, and as Sasuke drowsily made his way to open it, it was kicked open, and Naruto screamed his name.

Sasuke’s heart was beating so loudly, and when Naruto spotted him, his entire body seemed to deflate, sag in (what Sasuke still wonders about) relief.

And Naruto is walking toward him, stopping about two feet away from him. Sasuke wonders if he should tell Naruto he isn’t feeling well so he should go home.

But Naruto looks so _pissed_ , so _relieved_ , so _happy and sad._

“You didn’t leave,” Naruto eventually says, his voice cracking a bit on the last word, and Sasuke frowns.

Leave? Why would he leave? He didn’t have a mission. Before he can comment, Naruto is talking again.

“I… I thought you left,” Naruto whispers. He looks down at the ground. “Don’t leave again, Sasuke. Please, don’t leave. You can’t leave.”

And then Sasuke understands. He understands the relief that would show itself for brief moments in Naruto’s expressions all those times. He understands the heavy knocking and the quick breathing. He understands, and his heart breaks, but mends itself together as well.

“I’m not going to leave,” Sasuke says, taking a step toward him this time.

He wonders if Naruto knows. Knows that Sasuke is in love with him. He wonders so many things, but they involve the present now, and that’s what matters most of all.

Naruto looks at him, frowning. He doesn’t believe him. “Are you sure? How can I know that?” he asks.

Sasuke purses his lips. “You can’t. But I’m telling you I’m not going to leave, Naruto. I wouldn’t be able to anyway.”

Naruto frowns. “The ban placed on you leaving the village expired months ago, Sasuke. You can leave anytime you li—”

Sasuke laughs. “That’s not why I can’t leave, Naruto,” he says, cutting him off.

Naruto scrunches his nose in that cute way that he does when he’s confused, and Sasuke’s heart lurches. “Then why?”

Sasuke didn’t want to actually get to this part. He planned to keep it a secret. He didn’t plan on ever telling him. It wasn’t supposed to matter. He kept it to himself for so long, he forgot that people do tell the other.

“I mean, I love you,” he says.

Naruto still doesn’t believe him. “ _What_?”

“I love you,” Sasuke says again. His thoughts begin to eat away at his skull when Naruto doesn’t respond afterward. Silence. And Sasuke’s heart drops. He doesn’t know what he was expecting. “You don’t have to love me ba—”

“Why are you just now telling me, Sasuke?” Naruto eventually asks. “Or is it a new thing? How long? How long have you loved me?”

Sasuke realizes that this is the first time Naruto’s ever asked him any kind of question. The day he finally told Naruto he loves him is the day Naruto first asked him questions.

 _Fuck_.

“Since I was twelve,” he responds carefully. Naruto’s expression changes then. It’s softer, sweeter, understanding, and Sasuke doesn’t know what that _means_.

“Twelve?” Naruto asks again.

Sasuke just nods. What else can he _do_?

When Naruto kisses him next, the sun and moon have completely shattered, specks of stardust and moondust travelling throughout the sky, the galaxy, the universe, and Sasuke’s somehow always known this was going to happen. He wasn’t surprised. It felt right. It felt right.

 _They_ felt right.

They weren’t special. But they were different. Always so different. Always standing out from the crowd, but as two together, never as one.

And Sasuke realizes how stupid he’s been for ever doubting it at all. This was bound to happen. Bound to happen for the right and wrong but right right right always right reasons. Just an accumulation of everything they were together.

And that day Naruto kisses him for the third time, but it feels like the first, and Sasuke feels like he could live once again, feels like a flower finally blossoming after so many winters and so many droughts.

Naruto pulls back, leaning his forehead against his own. Their breaths are in sync. Always always always. “I was twelve too,” he starts. “I was twelve too when I fell in love with you.”

(Sasuke isn’t surprised. Isn’t surprised. Could never be surprised about what they are together and what they can be together. Not after everything. Not after all they’ve been and done.

There’s too much there for this not to have happened.

So he isn’t surprised in the least. But he doesn’t think he’s ever felt more elated.)

This is _real_.

**Author's Note:**

> sns is everything, I love you, and comments would be neat :)
> 
> much love xxxx


End file.
